The lyrics are pretty cool for a freestyle! (were you making them up as you went along?) At times it seemed as if you were fading in and out! But overall it was cool!
The beat was ok as well. It is very repetative and I think it needs more happening in it. Maybe more of a melody. But for your first beat thats cool! You can only get better and better.
What did you use to make the beat. Was it a 'drag and drop' type of process of did you compose it completely?