"Decisions"

[bigted]

I wrote this song yesterday after having a deep convo with my friensd Krystle, we were talking about many things in life and how a lot of the friends we used to have changed and sometimes we both feel tempted to do things we shouldn't do but we just don't know what to expect, we want to do right but sometimes we both feel like not many care when you're nixce,

really though we see that we both need to be positive people no matter who changed around us, I swear I feel like me and her are like soulmates for real, we both sorta felt bad that we tried to be distant from each other 'cause of how others were treating us but now that's the past and we're gonna be there for each other more often 'cause really a strong relationship is hard to find, anyway enjoy y'all:

“Decisions”

Written By Big Ted On Dec. 21, 2006

Chorus:

Decisions, Decisions

I feel we all start to break

If we don't know how to make

Decisions, Decisions

Sometimes I don't know what to say

Since I'm still trying to create

Decisions, Decisions

So much to do to get through our days

I just don't see the right mind frame

Decisions, Decisions

Like Hammer I “Pray”

I'll make it through another day

Verse One:

I feel like smokin' a pound

My job's starting to go down

I swear I just go out my mind

Hey dawg, just pass the light

I'd probably be better off rapping on the mic

Really I don't wanna fall for the hype

It's just sometimes I wonder what's the worth of having a life?

Things end up going wrong instead of right

No matter what motive I try

Having thoughts of robbing the bank and going for mine

I fill out the application there and they won't even look at it

So many sleep on my skills, they think I'm a craftmatic

Thinkin' “Life's A Bitch” as I'm blastin' Nas “Illmatic”

Just a bunch of teasers, none of them are pleasers

I hate feelin' broken like a house consumed with anteaters

I always wonder what ever happened to real people?

That actually give a care

A part of me tells me don't smoke that I could end up with lung cancer

And the other half of me says why live if there ain't no answer?

I gotta eat, a nightmare to me would be to be going in the kitchen and covers are bare

I really desire to live a life full of passion and flare

In this cold world love is just so rare out there

Wanting to do the right thing, please god answer my prayers

I'm fortunate though since the negative thoughts decrease the flow

I got a caring family at home

A lot of peeps get in trouble 'cause they're all alone

Really it's important to have somebody to back the foundation like building stones

That way it could keep the confidance growed

I fill out some more applications and stay on the go

But if I had nobody supportin' I guess I'd probably hit up that bank so I could go to the store

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse Two:

I really want to treat ladies with dignity

Everytime I try to be there for 'em they keep on dismissing me

So I start wondering why should I really treat 'em so sweetly?

I try to penetrate love from the mind, body, and soul

But it really becomes a low blow

Constantly end up rejected I just don't know

Like the shots over Mutombo

Really I gotta have some pride

All these fellas are getting some while I'm on the sidelines

I guess there's no such thing as a commitment?

So what the hell I might as well hit it

Of course only god knows how many those hoes been with

So I if I make a decision to go all in it, I'll get dragged to the clinic

My life'll become limited since a sexual disease is transmitted

Word to my man Magic

I guess a commitment is more tight

That way I could have a more fruitful life

Really the true passion comes from the inside

I gotta be patient until the right time

I was really on the right path all along

It's bout real love with a lady that's “so strong”

All these suckas are hyped actin' all wrong

Sooner or later they'll realise that what I rapped in this song

Is something that could've gotten them on the right path

You better watch your back

It's wrong for me to lock my heart 'cause of what went wrong in the past with others

There are still some shorties out there that appreciate class from soul brothers

Ok now you wanna smoke that grass? You wanna bust that gat?

Realise there's consequences for all of that..[Repeat Chorus]

Verse Three:

Aight I got on the right decisions

After I had to do quite a bit of soul searching

Really the decisions I made reflected feeling low in the pits

A quick fix really ends with a feeling of emptyness

Actin' full of sin will only leave me dead

I distanced myself from all those I found wreckless

And now spend more time on the ones who're the most caring

I used to let all the criticism bother me

I'm out to say what I truely believe

I'm in this rap game to reach out for more than currency

It's about a timeless state when you'll bump my CD

That's the way it'll form to be

I know that I could never end up lonely

If I get locked in a room with a pen and a pad I'll be relieved

Like Big Will I ask “Could You Love Me?”

If the answer's no then I'll leave you alone

But if you say yes then I'll be there till the end

Like Dru Hill “there ain't a promise that I can't keep”

Now of course you don't intend to do that for me

Leave me at ease, 'cause I got no time for a damn tease

Really to be one of my homies you gotta support my hopes, dreams, and...[Repeat Chorus]

[Turntable]

I really felt that one. Especaly the second verse. Some time ago was like "Why dont I just take all those girl's who'd love to jump on me? Why do I refuse, while my true love doesnt want me anyway?". I got back to my sensen tho. Dope one. Kep it up homie.

[mfuqua23]

Wow Ted. The song was awesome from all sides. I'm still lookin to figure how you flow your joints, because everytime I try, I get twisted. It was a great song to read tho, for sure.

[bigted]

there's no better feeling than to have a strong woman in my life that could relate to all the things i'm going through, i probably wouldn't thought about some of the things i considered doing over the last few months if i didn't try to be so distant from her but i'm not making the mistake anymore and she realised that too, i realised maybwe the struggles that we were both going through when we were distant might make a strong relationship for us so really I can't complain about what happened then, everything happens for a reason, she was feeling the temptation to do certain things 'cause a lot of those who she thought was down with her were rejecting her, the way we've been talking to each other over the past couple weeks i really believe in my heart that we're gonna be much than just friends eventually, of course the ball's on her court, she already know where my heart's at, i ain't forcing anything on her really, it's all in god's hands i believe,

i'd rather be her friend than not contact with her at all, real friends are hard to find, and of course i realise that in order to be lovers you have to be friends, really it's about mending up the friendship right now,i do respect the relationship she has with her man but once she sees how much I'm down for her I think she'll open up more to me, she's seeing it already ansd i see her starting to open up more to tell me things, really I'm making love to her mind and soul and she's doing the same to me, i really feel like i have more life since i've been talking to her more often, she's really special, her beauty is way more than skin deep,there's a strong bond there that's being felt, she's one of my biggest fans too, she wants me to keep making these raps with heart in them and not worry about what the popular rappers are doing so much, she told me that I shouldn't stop 'cause there's a lot coming up in our generation that're going through stuff like we are and they need a strong role model like me to look up to, i swear all the support she's been giving me is worth more than any present i could get on Christmas, i appreciate that you guys are feeling this rap too, really the encouragement like this keeps me going

Edit: Now the first verse really explains how my parents help keep my head in the right direction to my dreams and goals, some days I felt like doing things drastic but when I came home they're there to support me so I get through the days,really what they told me that day I broke down and cried to them was helpful, i really have to stay patient and I'll eventually be able to have a long stable career, the second verse basically explains how I was tempted to just hit on any girl without even knowing much about them, the ego was getting to me 'cause I see whenever I give my heart to a girl I thought they stomp on it but Krystle cares about my feelings so I don't feel like that nomore, I'm gonna be more open minded now and I realise that it really is true that you really have to know somebody before you get down, right now Krystle's the only girl in my life worthy of my loving, and the third verse explains how I was able to find myself through my own soul searching, I have to do things that I could be proud of at the end of the day, everyday has to have a purpose for me, before I felt like I was dragging along, I'm more humbled, I really found peace of mind this holiday, that's the greatest gift ever...

Edited December 23, 2006 by bigted

[bigted]

Oh yeah there was this song I wrote about her 4 years ago the first Christmas holiday after I mwet her, all these thoughts are still relevant to now, knowing that she wants to see me soon makes me feel lighted like a Christmas tree, my wishes are coming true, I was always too nervous to share it with her but this year I decided to call her up and perform it to her over the phone on Friday, she enjoyed it too:

“Your Love For Christmas”

Written By Big Ted on December 20, 2002

Chorus:

You don't know how much I'd do for you

Your love for Christmas

I wish that I'd told you

That all I want is your love for Christmas

All I need is your love for Christmas

Verse One:

I would love to spend time with you

There ain't much presents that I could buy you

Don't worry 'bout it though 'cause I'll make everything all right for you

There ain't much money that I have to spend

Trust that I'll make sure we have happiness

You don't have to buy me anything

As long as I'm with you, I don't need anything

Reality sets in since right now I'm alone

This pain kills me deep

I try to maintain but I feel chills in my sleep

My life's so cold around me

More than if the ground's snowy

You don't know what I'd give for you to hold me

You could never imagine such a strong dawg like me have all this sensitivity

You were the girl that did this to me

I would trade in my presents quickly

If you said you wanna spend time with me

This is more than a rhyme that I'm spittin'

Since you're the one thing during this time that I'm missin'

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse Two:

At my age, I don't need toys

And at my age, I can't no longer avoid

That I need to penetrate after a stronger joy

What happens to us when we get older is

That we get a bigger sense

Of what we want, the bigger perspective

The whole pictures occurs to progress

Love is something that becomes more cherished

Most material things just perish

This could be hard for a person like me to confess

There's different words that this mc can express

Now I yearn for love

So I have to come with words of love

I started to think about this before I met you

But now the plan's more set through

On how I can effect you

I don't know what the future is

No doe can buy the perfect thing

It's so hard to find the words to give

You an idea of what I'm trying to say

I don't know if I cross your mind today

Or the other times you're away

You probably don't know that you're on my mind everyday

The feeling is incredible

It's hard to find something to let this go

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse Three:

I don't want you to get it twisted

This song's more than just about Christmas

It's about the love I now envision

I would feel more life than a lighted Christmas tree

If you decided to spend time to get at me

A miracle is what I need

This is the time of year where it could happen

It's in my mind so clear to be darin' for passion

I won't get my hopes up

Unless you feel something that won't hold up

I'll be ready if you show up, to give me some of your love

Right now it seems like it's only a fantasy

But the main thing I guess is that you enjoy this time with your family

Like I will mine, just the thought to know that you're happy brings me life even though I ain't your #1 guy

Recognise that you don't have to be shy

You know that if you get with me sparks will fly

'Cause you'll feel something you won't deny

Especially around the holidays

I'm ready to drown the drama away

You and me kissing under the mistletoe

Would fulfill all the needs of the wish list I wrote

[Repeat Chorus]