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Green eyes of love?


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I know a girl very close to me. I call her my girlfriend (probably because she is). Anyway, her sister is getting married soon. She's gonna be going to her bachelorette party eventually.

Now before I continue, let's run through our history really quick- I am amazing. 1987-present. All that needs to be said.

So, with that knowledge let's look into what goes on at parties like this: some dirty shoooooot- some dirty stuff that you would never let fly if you didn't know you were just doing the same stuff at your own party. Strippers, sex toys, all that. Now, I'm a cool dude (as you know). I can dig it... as long as it's fair play. Eye for an eye. But it won't be a level playing field. She'll be at the party and I'll be on message board complaining about how people use their time better than me. I don't know the guy her sister's marrying, I won't be at his party. THERE IS SOMETHING FOUL IN THE AIR. See, she's hundreds of miles away from me for the summer. It is disheartening to be a jealous guy while this sort of fun is going on without you.

I have thought of a way to balance things out. I could throw my own bachelor party. I'll put little paper hats on my cats and dogs and throw confetti at midnight. Stripping in front of the mirror, while a great thing in its own right, is not so satisfying when you know some dumb guy with a big smile will be doing it in front of your girl. REMEMBER- this would all be slightly more copeable had I been going to a party of equal or greater nature. You would not be reading this great thread.

I'm going to do some push-ups.

God Blessa!

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