How to rap like Lil Wayne

[ash trey]

I copied this from another board.This is hilarious, especially if you've heard all this hype about the cat and then listen to his music and wonder to yourself...Why?

How to Write a L'il Wayne Verse in 10 Easy Steps

1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. L'il Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." You can do metaphors but try to steer away from doing this too often, lest people think that you are a different ghost-writer. That is bad. Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.

3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent Dairy Queen-white music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).

4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.

5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.

6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these is ." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.

7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.

8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a ." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.

9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate white liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make white liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make wild ridiculous conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.

10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.

Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money. The Ghostwriting Hotlines are open now!

example :

I'm jumpin fences like Seabiscuit, sh!t

The work's heavy, my napsack is petty

Its weezy f. baby young Carter in the greasy Chevy

I used to rob cars, now i cop cars

Kinda like tha PO-LICE

but i smoke weed

And my daddy's wit me

Baby is almost fifty

but they call this nigga baby

cuz his head be shavie'd

Since I works in the kitchen

I got the plasma vision

and about seventy women

cookin coke in the kitchen

I slap them bitches vicious

like Katrina winds

and hit hard like the nuclear missiles

that blew up New Orleans kid

Bush wants Iraqi oil

but not for cookin' fish

I'm the greatest to ever do it

Fk that classic tip

[Bob]

wow. hahahah.

[Silver Tiger]

lol, I wish that was what my last rant about Wayne said. That's great.

God Blessa!

[JumpinJack AJ]

That's hiliarious. I'll give Lil' Wayne one thing. He's incredibly consistant. He's just as untalented and just as ugly as he waz when he started. He truely is one of the worst 2 ever do it. What's even better is that most of these actually fit many rappers who get hits these days.

[bigted]

:rofl: :rofl:

[Mike]

im so tired of my friends telling me how good he is.. this made my day, maybe ill print it out for them haha

[ash trey]

And even after that people in other message boards will stick up for him... :rofl:

[mfuqua23]

I "TRIED" to get IT. The Greatest Rapper Alive since the greatest rapper retired. Just because you release 20 mixtapes a month, you are the greatest. Well, somebody do 21 or something.

What kind of arguments come out of people's mouths when they say Lil Wayne is the best? However, I sorta do like his song "I Feel Like Dying". His rap is about drugs, and he raps lines like he's on drugs, so that's why I can "sorta like it". hmm. Maybe I'm crazy.

[JumpinJack AJ]

While this topic is up, i just gotta ask this... Why on earth would someone so ugly wanna make themselves uglier. I saw him on the front of a current magazine (maybe XXL or The Source) with Birdman. I've never understood why someone as ugly as Lil' Wayne would grow the long hair, wear grills, and tattoo every inch of his body. Take all the tattoos away, sport your real teeth, and get a clean cut hairstyle and he wouldn't look like his punking himself. I know this has nothing 2 do with his music...but man, he is one ugly guy.

And am i the only who prays that a radio edit without raps and adlibs from Lil' Wayne on Lloyd's hit exists somewhere?

[ash trey]

I need kanyes Barry Bonds without Wayne's painful appearance...

[Niall123]

everyone is always saying how good he is, this proves that he isn't any good.

Edited September 14, 2007 by Niall123

[VIsqo]

lol, this is really funny!!!!, weezy baby!! Lil wayne just makes me laugh, even though he still popular as hell and has brawl with more people than 50 without gettin nothin from them. The fact is that hustler music, one of his songs aint that bad and u can roll in your car with stunnin like my daddy (if your daddy is actually your father, because if not, i dont recomend thats step) and please dont ever forget that you wont actually know where he got all that gangsta thing going on because hes been outta the guetto since he was actually a weezy baby.

[VIsqo]

HES WEEZY BABY!!! The freaking lil bastard is contagious. Like AIDS or something....