mfuqua23 Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Hey y'all. Here's a song from my Untitled album that I finished in the summer. It was hard to pick a track. It consists of 16 + 2 Bonus. This is a definate creative track, considering the sample, lyrics, and how it was organized. I'm curious to see if anyone can figure out what I used. Click Here to listen to Somethin' Stressed May 8, 2004 (8:53 p.m. - 11:43 p.m.) CHORUS: Somethin' Stressed comin outta my mind Try 2 feel better as I release this rhyme Somethin' Stressed and I don't really know Somethin' Stressed but I gotta let go I don't understand this feelin that's come over me But it's like a shadow that always shoulders me Cold in one instance cuz it's keepin me down Warm in the other, if things happen when it's around We all need it, but it's somethin I seem 2 bleed as I breath If no one's around, then I got nothin 2 please Know the emotions, but they always hide More subconsciou I stay, the more my mind divides Approaches seem different, some call it ignorant Walk wit my head down, but I just think it needs lifted CHORUS Started when I was four, gaining memory thru the eyes Fallin in love wit these girls, becomin' part of their lives Used to be talkative and wild, when I was a lil child Destroyed my happiness, now I can't even smile wit style, why am I gettin ignored Can't walk thru my shoes, but still step on the floor to worlds that I've been to, see what I've been thru Only things a personality can go thru Tell me, who were U? What were U doin'? Abuse my heart, and my life is ruined Try lookin' up 2 get enuff of the good things in life One extremely special girl gets in my life and I'm feelin aight But there's still such a pressure 2 measure, how R we 2gether? Maybe it's nothin' but I'm still writing songs and letters Could it be what I think it is, constant thoughts gettin no rest But whatever it is, I know it's Somethin' Stressed CHORUS (just goes on)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willsmithfan1 Posted December 25, 2004 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 (edited) Hey are you gonna make your a song called Passion? I read the lyrics. I thought you would of put the song up (only if you've rapped it) Edited December 25, 2004 by willsmithfan1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 It sounds like you used 'Usher - You got it bad' but just slowed down. I really do think you need to work on your recording techniques. It would make your songs sound better. You need to break up the verses when you rap them (this is a major thing I think you need to improve on). It sounds like you are trying to get too many words into a sentance and just sounds rushed and forced. Also the timimg of some of your rhymes are off I think. They either come in too quick or too late. Also, I can't stress enough how much adlibs improve songs. From what I heard, there was none at all in your song and I've noticed this is the same with all your songs. It adds depth and atmosphere. I think your vocals need turining up as well. If I wasn't reading the lyrics along as well, I would have found it difficult to understand some of the things you were saying. One last thing (but this is purely preference as an artist). i think the first verse is too short. It is only 10 bars and I think it needed to be more conventional at 16 bars (as is the 2nd verse). Other than that it was ok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbfprince Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 yeah, like Da Brakes said, you try to fit too many words into one sentence. change the rhyme or something that'll make em flow better. i always have to change what i write cos it doesnt sound right. i liked the song :thumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willsmithfan1 Posted December 25, 2004 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Yeah you definitely used Usher's music to Got It Bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted December 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 (edited) brakes - I wrote it to fit the beat of the song. That's why the verse were the length they were. Even FP had some odd lengthed ones. Like on "Summertime", it went 6,8,14. And yeah, that was Usher 'U got it Bad slowed down'. Plus I don't really know how the ad-libbing thing works with the programs I have. And if I just so happen to have done, it doesn't sound right. It sounds like two nasty voices. kbfprince - thanks ws1 - no I'm not. Edited December 25, 2004 by mfuqua23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 brakes - I wrote it to fit the beat of the song. That's why the verse were the length they were. Even FP had some odd lengthed ones. Like on "Summertime", it went 6,8,14. And yeah, that was Usher 'U got it Bad slowed down'. Plus I don't really know how the ad-libbing thing works with the programs I have. And if I just so happen to have done, it doesn't sound right. It sounds like two nasty voices. Thats not true! If you listen to what you recorded, after you finish the first verse, theres still loads of time for you to continue rapping but you don't! There was about 6 bars left. You filled it with words like "something stressed". I personally think it would have been better if you would have continued rapping. I'm not disputing the fact that other rappers have different length verses but like I said this is purely preference as an artist. Adlibs are easy. You don't have to do anything special with the programme you use to do it. All you do is rap over the top of your main vocals, emphasizing certain words you want to stand out. When you have finished doing this, you simply turn the adlibs down a bit to create a more harmonised sound. Its as easy as that. Trust me....if you do everything I've told you, your songs will sound better. At the moment, they seem rushed and like your always out of breath. Take some time and pride in your creative work and you'll appreiate it alot more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted December 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Yeah ok. I gotcha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willsmithfan1 Posted December 25, 2004 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 So you gonna improve your song or you gonna do all the stuff Da Brakes said on the next song? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willsmithfan1 Posted December 26, 2004 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 Btw, why don't you cut the song shorter so we don't have to keep listenin to the music over again? I don't think you really need that part at the end, it spoils the whole song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbfprince Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 i liked the music at the end. it made the song better, like kinda romantic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willsmithfan1 Posted December 26, 2004 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 I think it spoiled the song cos that part sounds proper messed up. The song was quite fast. Most of it was just music.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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