Feelin Alone'

[J-o-e]

hey this is a song that i wrote a few days ago when i heard Akon's "Lonley" for the first time, i thought i havent wrote a deep track like this in a while, its called Feelin Alone.

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Feeling Alone

it dont matter about all the success

all i want is for u to rest

on my shoulder, baby girl i told ya

i wana love ya, i wana hold ya

but i cant coz u miles away

and i swear ill neva cry another day

what i done to u was tragic

but u loved the time we were together, it was magic

i dont have anyone at the moment do you?

would u be embarresed if i said i still love u

nuttin worse being all alone

especailly ur not at home, ive collapsed by the phone

wit a pen and a pad, writin this rhyme wantin 2 be a dad

im goin crazy im gettin ahead of myself

but i wish i was selfish, but i cant stop thinking

ever since u left me, its hard for me to stop drinking

im in the studio, puttin down my flow

its hard to see that ur not gonna be at my next show

its a shame, coz u was a rose that could grow

through the whole evilness inside this world?

its a shame that i called u my one and only girl!!

i cheated on u and i cheated on me!!!, i wanted u to be free

u didnt deserve the heartache that i gave ya

give me one chance and girl ill save ya

ur heart was in my hands i put it to peices

but it didnt work when i tore up ya house leases

i got nobody im waitin in this empty house

im the cat and i gonna catch the mouse

ur making my head spin everytime i believe u

i never meant to shout. it was about, i wish i never leaved u

lets take it back when it started

way before the broken hearts, before u departed

u could call us a happy couple?

whenever people see us, they always see double

i never left u and u never left me

so where did the strength come from for u to leave me

i would rap this in the rain outside

but i will never hide, its always a ride

l-o-v-e was what we once had, its not sad

but look back at the memories together, we were glad

to have what we had, only a few couples have it

but we ruined it, the emotion and love

but we ruined it, god cried from upabove

but we ruined it, we had to, it was fate

thats not what u said on our first date

straight to ur place, u didnt wana hate

put on them champagne bottles, no ones leavin till 8

i coulda gave u anythin u wanted

but it was too expensive, u jus flaunted

i wana work it out but i hurt u

if i had the choice, i wish i would of never flirted wit u

coz pain is love and baby girl thats what it is?

who knew that i could of affected your biz

back in high school people said in a few years we'll c ya kids

how scary that was for me, u started to have dreams

but it was strange coz what it seems

is that u wanted to live wit me, i was to young

i didnt have a heart, i was too dumb

if i got stabbed, i didnt feel it i was to numb

it wasnt right, and from that night

i swore that i would always hold u tight

but its over i was stupid and u left

my life woulda bin easier if i was in prision for theft

but all im guilty off is stealin ya heart

but then again, i wish that we would never be apart

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thats feed back appreichated

[mfuqua23]

'Feelin' Alone' seemed like U were going towards telling a story more than just generalizing that feeling. The opening of ya 2nd verse seems like it'd fit more as ya first considering how'd U do the song. The "I cheated on U, I cheated on me" could be better explained in the verse or re-worded. The song seems to jump from one thing to another to quick. And U could probably better organize ya words.

It's an idea tho.

[bagotrasho]

gotta give u props man it was deep

[bigted]

Hey I wrote song called "To Feel Alone" a couple months ago, great minds think alike I guess, well mine's a lil' different of course but I feel your pain homie.