WesSyde Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 this is the first song i've ever written. i've never felt like writin' anything cuz there's nothin that was burnin at me that i thought i wanted 2 write about. then all of a sudden i had a feelin that i had 2 write about this experience that happened 2 me. i'm thinkin of recordin it and submitting it 2 the JJFP community album. please give me some feedback cuz i wanna make it better if possible and i don't feel real confident in it right now. thanx :thumb: VERSE 1 I'm a tell y'all about a part of me That sometimes I wish others would just not see See, when you grow up lots of things change And well, I guess my mind just got duranged I started thinkin about nasty things And I even went on sites that werent clean I was warned, but I kept at every day My refusal, in the end, the price I did pay Man, that stuff is just like an addiction It's like food that just won't leave your kitchen I guess I needed some time off to get things straight But pretty soon I was thinkin' "how many years? like eight?" I swore I would never do stuff like that again Cause it's wrong and bad and to many is a sin I pretty much had to start life all over again Man, did I have to start life all over again CHORUS In this life there are choices to make You can't play around, life ain't no fake You gotta be careful, can't do no wrong Sometimes I ask myself "How many times will it take" You gotta recognize before it's all gone But finally I've done it y'all, I got my life straight VERSE 2 I used to be part of an online community I used to think of them and our close unity I used to think what people would think about me I wondered if they thought I was dead and what they'd do without me I thought about these people every single day I thought about comin' back and what I'd say But luckily for me like a blessing from the sky One day the computer worked, no joke, no lie I guess it was just and accident that it worked, a mistake But it's still on now, I guess it was my fate Now I'm back chillin' with peeps that I love This will always be my online home - this message board I can even stay on all day if I'm bored I just thank God I got it back cuz I missed it so much I swear that that was my wake-up call, I've been touched I'm cleansed of my problems, my disease you could call it Cuz this fam is so important to me, more than my wallet CHORUS VERSE 3 In closing, I wanna keep it simple and precise There's so many things that can get you messed up for life Just steer clear and enjoy fun things like your favorite rappers Cuz doin' all of that other sh!t just sends you down the crapper This is officially my first rap so I'd like to say Be thankful for this place and have a good day CHORUS 2X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bracesup Posted May 14, 2005 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 started thinkin about nasty things And I even went on sites that werent clean I was warned, but I kept at every day My refusal, in the end, the price I did pay So you repent visiting porn-sites? :confused3: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 This was a real good rap for a 1st. Point perfect even. If this were on audio, I'd enjoy listening to. Put it on the Community album. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 I really like that alot! As Fuq said that would fit perfect on the album! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WesSyde Posted May 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 started thinkin about nasty things And I even went on sites that werent clean I was warned, but I kept at every day My refusal, in the end, the price I did pay So you repent visiting porn-sites? :confused3: yes i do cuz it ruined my life. the key is moderation man!! u cant be lookin at that stuff every day cuz it'll just ruin ur mind. i've tried to stay free of that stuff as much as possible. thanx a lot fuq and brakes! u made me feel more confident about it. any people's suggestions would be appreciated. thanx :kool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerkot Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 started thinkin about nasty things And I even went on sites that werent clean I was warned, but I kept at every day My refusal, in the end, the price I did pay So you repent visiting porn-sites? :confused3: yes i do cuz it ruined my life. the key is moderation man!! u cant be lookin at that stuff every day cuz it'll just ruin ur mind. i've tried to stay free of that stuff as much as possible. thanx a lot fuq and brakes! u made me feel more confident about it. any people's suggestions would be appreciated. thanx :kool: Im stuck in the porno world aswell... thats a bit of a problem for me but I think I could quit it if i really really wanted to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Must be pretty big of U to admit something like that. We've all been there, are there, or going to go there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildWildWillennium Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 That's honest of u man, good job, there's a good message in there. :werd: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mc-Bad Boy Posted May 14, 2005 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 damn u r good good luck man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bracesup Posted May 14, 2005 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Must be pretty big of U to admit something like that. We've all been there, are there, or going to go there. And by 20, it will all go away. No doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 That's a good message right there and a great 1st rhyme, I wish I could say my 1st rhyme was that good, you should keep it up, tell people what's on your mind! :peace: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted May 16, 2005 Report Share Posted May 16, 2005 the best rhymes are the ones that are straight from the heart or based on a true story. my two that i posted were true and easy to write because of that. im working on a third one now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WesSyde Posted May 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2005 the best rhymes are the ones that are straight from the heart or based on a true story. my two that i posted were true and easy to write because of that. im working on a third one now. 4 sure! i'm with ya on that. i'm not much of a rhyme writer but when u got somethin' 2 tell about a real experience it's a lot easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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