"Hostage Situation"

[Mike]

hard track to make. lots of cursing, but only so it sounded natural.some of the stuff is hard to read with a flow. but it works, belive me.FEEDBACK please

my new rap name is "concept" and i remaned my album that. so its no long for my people.

C=Concept(me) M=Mike(My friend) R=Robber L=lady P=police O=owner

“Hostage Situation”

Written by Concept featuring Mike

C - Hey man what’s up

M- Nothing what are you up to

C- On my way to 711, come on

M- Im about to get myself a slushy

C- Yeah man its hot out here

(Enter door sounds, then several seconds later same sounds again)

R- Put the money in the bag! Nobody f*cking move! I wanna make sure this goes all nice and smooth!

C- Oh sh*t that guys got a gun! Come on mike, let’s get outta here, run!

R-Where the f*ck do you think your going? Sit your ass down! That goes for all of you; get your ass on the ground!

L- Please don’t kill me! I got a baby boy

R- Shut up b*tch; I got a robbery to enjoy

C-Yo mike, what the hell we gonna do? This guy’s a psycho well never make it through

P- This is the police! We’ve surrounded the store

R- I suggest you stay outta this, unless you want blood and gore. Im counting ten people sitting on this floor!

P- Calm down son. There are so many laws you’re breaking.

M- Man your gonna go to jail; think of the mistake your making.

R- Shut up kid, don’t tell me what to do

C- Yeah mike shut up! I don’t wanna die, do you?

M- Just be quiet and wait for this guy to get caught.

C- Yeah but if we wait to long one of us is gonna get shot. I’ve seen it on TV; they kill us one by one, every hour. Yo there’s nothing we can do. It’s out of our power. He’s got a gun if he fight back we’ll die. So there’s no point to go on and try.

M- But there’s ten of us, one of him, plus the store clerk.

P- Let a hostage go, we need to make this work

R- You aint getting nothing! Im a pop them one by one. Till you let me go thats how its gonna get done.

C- Told ya, see I know my sh*t.

M- The police’ll crack him down. He’ll give up and just quit. So now we gotta sit down and just wait. Try to keep your mind off it, that’ll set you straight. That helps for me when im in a stressful situation. Actually I used it last week when I was on vacation. We lost our luggage and couldn’t find it for a while. So I thought about that movie, I think it was 8 mile.

C- Sorry man but that doesn’t really make me saved. Im still a hostage in a store, Im still enslaved.

P- This is your last warning, let the people go. I have snipers ready to fire, just to let you know.

M- See, they know what their doing, we’ll be done in a lil bit.

R- You expect me to believe you, that’s all bullsh*t! I know how you cops work; you want me to get scared. Just so you know I’ve come prepared.

(Sound effects for taking out and loading of a machine gun)

C- Oh f*ck, well totally screwed. We should have never come in to get some food.

P- Put the weapon down! No one is dieing today

R- Im not putting this down! No f*ckin way

M- Alright man im gonna take him down. You distract him then I go around. He put his pistol on the table when he took out this gat. I’ll pull the trigger and make his brains go splat.

C- Are you kidding me? I’m gonna get shot.

M- Trust me on this man, no your not.

C- I can’t believe your making me do this man, Im gonna die in this crazy plan. Alright im ready, here we go. Good luck to you man

M- You too bro

C- Hey mother f*cker! Look at me, im standing up and bout to get free!

R- Sit back down unless you wanna get shot! If you think I’m joking. Guess what im not.

C- Oh yeah, well how do I know there’s even bullets in that gun?

R- Believe me on this one, watch it’s so much fun

(Several gunshots)

O- Hey stop shooting up my store!

R- I would shut up unless you wanna die, h*ar. Back to you kid, do you believe me now? So unless you wanna get shot I suggest you sit back—(gunshot)

[Fresh-Ta-Def]

thats a nice idea sort of like the eminem-criminal or like eminem-guilty conshions the way it works out... its a great idea man some lines need to be changed an mix up the vocabulary good work man

[WesSyde]

i think that's pretty good. i don't quite get the end tho. did u end up getting shot? i wish i could give helpful feedback, but i suck at writing so i can't offer much. however, i think u got a ton of potential man, maybe the most potential of any1 on the board. i can almost always read ur stuff and be entertained the whole way thru. i like the way u've switched it up a bit and done different style songs like this one and the dictionary one. good luck hope 2 hear some of ur recorded stuff.

[Fresh-Ta-Def]

another suggestion the last very last rhyme should rhyme with "now" because you ended that part way with the ? mark insted back come out of nowhere.. try it when i read that line it seems to drag the rest is cool though you fallowd the pattern you created in the first 3-5 lines

GOOD JOB like Reborn said i like how u come with different styled and stuff!

[kbfprince]

Great "concept". I'd be interesting to hear this track recorded. :2thumbs:

[Schnazz]

I liked it man, cool concept, good lyrics. I liked the ending.

I thought this part was kinda off:

M- The police’ll crack him down. He’ll give up and just quit. So now we gotta sit down and just wait. Try to keep your mind off it, that’ll set you straight. That helps for me when im in a stressful situation. Actually I used it last week when I was on vacation. We lost our luggage and couldn’t find it for a while. So I thought about that movie, I think it was 8 mile.

←

You're comparing loosing luggage to being taken hostage. It seemed to trivialize the experience, make it more cartoonie then dramatic.

[Mike]

lol- schnazz your kinda right about that one. but he is just talking to his friend. i was greatly inspired by 99 problems(how he raps with the cop), guilty consiense, and kim (not the content but how its rapped).

and the end, since you guys were wondering. the plan was for my friend to sneak up and take the guys gun while i distract him. so in the end, he was in mid sentance and my friend shoots him.

thanks you for all the great feedback. and the reason i chose the name "concept" was becasue you guys kept on tellling me i had good concept. then last night i was like.....thats a good rap name. so thats that. thanks again.

[WesSyde]

thanx 4 clearing up the ending mike... i can't believe i didnt get it at first. i knew the robber was talking.... and i knew the plan was 4 u 2 distract the robber while ur friend shot him, but i guess i thought since the robber was talking, it was the one who fired the gunshot 2. silly mistake.