PeaceAngel Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 (edited) After reading the songs that other people here have written, I was inspired to try to write a song on my own. So I wrote this song, and this is the first real song I've ever written, so it's probably not as good as other songs people have written. So tell me what you think of it. I want honest feedback and advice so I can improve! Ok well here it is: "All It Takes" Lately I feel like I`ve been having this dream That I would get up on a stage and just start to sing My heart out, telling people how I feel The crowd`s feeling my vibe and it felt so ill But I never ever thought that this dream could come true But it turns out anything can happen to you You can do anything as long as you try Add a pair of wings to your heart and you know you can fly You could fly so high you could touch the sky You have what it takes, don`t try and deny Don`t take my word for it, go ahead, try it out And soon enough, you`ll see what I`m all about CHORUS All it takes is a little inspiration To reach your destination All it takes is a little dedication To reach the point of inflation Where you feel like you can do anything As long as you stay committed and follow your dreams It`s really not as hard as it seems All it takes is a little inspiration I was inspired by other hip hop artists Who write great rhymes that are smart and honest They`re not just rapping about whack old things That have no apparent point or meaning They`re talking about things going on in life Along with the stress and pain they have to strive Of course these people are going to have a stash But they aren`t rapping just to get some cash They`re proving to the world that they can do something Instead of sitting around like a bum doing nothing They`re showing everybody what they can do And trust me, the same thing can happen to you You could be well-known, you could be discovered But it won`t ever happen if you don?t uncover Don`t take my word for it, go ahead, try it out And soon enough, you`ll see what I`m all about CHORUS It makes me sick, I`m telling you When I don`t see credit given where it`s due To the people who dedicate their lives to their dreams And all the critics want to do is make a scene I`m talking about people like Will Smith and LL Cool J They`ve been around a long time and still go a long way Why is it that some rappers` albums go multiplatinum When the ones that deserve it get gold as maximum? Probably `cause there`s not enough publicity There songs don`t get played on the radio or aired on tv But these people have true fans that recognize The true meaning of hip hop through their own eyes Don`t take my word for it, go ahead, try it out And soon enough, you`ll see what I`m all about CHORUS (2x) Edited August 2, 2005 by FuNkY.FrEsH.ChIcK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbfprince Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 You can do anything as long as you try Add a pair of wings to your heart and you know you can fly You could fly so high you could touch the sky You have what it takes, don`t try and deny Liked this part :2thumbs: Nice first verse, nice rhymes and I also liked ur chorus. Really good start. :2thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 cool thanx! :wiggle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh-Ta-Def Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 good job i like it its good for a first try keep working ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissAshley Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 that was really ggod, i esp. like this part: You can do anything as long as you try Add a pair of wings to your heart and you know you can fly so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Thanx a lot guys! I guess I have something for songwriting. Maybe I'l write a few other songs and see how this works. :wiggle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh-Ta-Def Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 yeah you should record if you got a mic.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 I don't have a mic right now, but even if I did, I wouldn't start recording yet cuz I'm just starting out just to see what it's like and to see if I'm any good at songwriting. So I'll keep working at it and write a few more songs and we'll see what happens! :2thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh-Ta-Def Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 yeah ti be pretty cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bracesup Posted August 3, 2005 Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 That was really nice, Funky. Real positive with a nice flow too. :2thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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