mfuqua23 Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 Hey y'all. I had a rough talk with some girl and obviously I vented out my emotions in the lyrics. But I'm not stressed over. Just got inspired to write. I had always wanted to write like this. I mean I can't sing like I want to, so I guess I'll leave that in the hands of some others. If that were the case, I don't think I'd be rappin'. Maybe. :shrug: Anyway, peep the lyrics. Remember I'm new at this. August 13, 2005 (12:00 p.m. - 12:52p.m.) You had my love But you didn't have my heart You took my money and that didn't split us apart But I saw something new in you Got to figure how to handle it There's a many a girls to be in your place One that will treat me right Better beauty in the face I take the time, to sit on down Tell you how I'm feelin' right now Get out of my life I don't care what you do My love girl, it Can't Be For You CHORUS No way to explain, a simple statement Stay away from me Your the type of girl that a man like me just don't need Your word means nothing I'm thru with you And I just Can't Be For You Sittin' at my bedside Playin' things in back of my mind I don't know why in the world I would ever try to make you mine You never cared about me And that's fine, because I'm movin' on You broke our relationship but my heart will stay strong, oh CHORUS Spoken Word: All I ever wanted to do, was be good to the girl I found. Already knew things weren't perfect, but it's feeling even more hopeless now. So whenever I chill at night, I think of nothing of what we were. I may regret, but you somehow got both of what you did and didn't deserve. End Out: It's no more You lost it all, it's all gone, baby It's no more Over for-ever... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Snouf Posted August 13, 2005 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 I like that one, I wrote some similar stuff here on the board so I know what you going through. These are my favorite lines: Sittin' at my bedside Playin' things in back of my mind I don't know why in the world I would ever try to make you mine As you said, it's nothing for a rap but it's your emotions and this is good even though you new to this! Good job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 FuQ that was great there!. my best line was "You had my love But you didn't have my heart You took my money and that didn't split us apart" Most simpliest rhymes are the best to use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 I like it! I write stuff liek that to but i don`t wanna show it cause i suck.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 That's great, it reminds me of a lot of the poems I write when I go through situations like that and I don't want to put it into a rap song, I just write a few lines like that, if I could sing better myself I'd probably wanna make an r&b album from all that I've wrote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 That's great, it reminds me of a lot of the poems I write when I go through situations like that and I don't want to put it into a rap song, I just write a few lines like that, if I could sing better myself I'd probably wanna make an r&b album from all that I've wrote. ← Isn`t there a Singer on this Board? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbfprince Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 I'm with Joe, my favorite lines are, "You had my love But you didn't have my heart You took my money and that didn't split us apart" Its always good to try something new. Liked this piece! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 This was really good, and very emotional. Good job on this! :dope: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted August 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 That's great, it reminds me of a lot of the poems I write when I go through situations like that and I don't want to put it into a rap song, I just write a few lines like that, if I could sing better myself I'd probably wanna make an r&b album from all that I've wrote. ← Isn`t there a Singer on this Board? ← No, not a one man. It's harder to post such a thing, expecially if no one has ever heard you. Funny thing, is I'm just gonna write on occassion like this as a lil R&B album like U were thinkin Ted. Thanks for the feedback also everybody. btw, does anybody know the basic structure when these types of lyrics are written? Isn't there something called a bridge thrown in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh-Ta-Def Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 "You had my love But you didn't have my heart You took my money and that didn't split us apart" thats a good rhymes there man keep it up homie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loco Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 A bridge is sumthin thatis makin' you ready for the hook. verse bridge hook verse hook verse bridge hook that's a typical structure of rnb lyrics. i could try to find a singer for this track. Crazy-E could do the beat. and we got a hot rnb song. oh i forgot to say that these sum good lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Here's an example in "Everytime" by Tatyana Ali (some people here have probably heard it) Bridge: "I always said I'd never cry over you, but it's hard to hold back tears when your fears come true, I'm sitting here lonely just missing you, baby come home" Chorus: "Everytime you go away, my heart goes with you, everytime you go away, my heart's torn in two, is there something I can say, won't you change the plans you made, 'cause my heart can't stand the pain, everytime everytime you go away" So the bridge is the part that comes before the chorus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted August 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2005 Thanks to more of y'all. Thanks FFC, that helps a lil bit. And Loco, if U could arrange that, I think that'd be cool kind of, if things went right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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