Turntable Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 (edited) So here`s the Poem..I just wanted to know what you think about it! Oh and if there are any foults in my english please tell me! Something stupid is what keeps us apart But that doesn`t change the feelings in my hart I wish i could hold you now I wish that i could be with you some how Imagine if i would be ya man I would never leave ya side I would preach my love until the end Sometimes i think about how it could be But at the end it still is a fantasy Because it`s a fantasy It won't come true So I'm gonna keep all these feelins inside Keep my dreams alive until the right time. Sometimes you feel so near Whe`re having fun..Everything feels so real But in my heart is so much fear Cause i know I will wake up And realise that is was just a dream my fantasy made up. And then I`m sitting up for hours Thinking about you And i know is should be sleeping But my heart just won`t stop bleeding! Sometimes i think to myself "Man why am i doing this? It doesn`t matter how much I would preach my love for her, Cause at the end I can`t reach her. Just forget about her, And i know there will be pain But it isn`t a shame to loose some tears It`s worth it cause at the end I wil lose my fears!" But then i think about you for a while And than i know all my pain worths it When I see your smile! Edited August 14, 2005 by Turntable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny 5 Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 Good poem Turntable, I'll take the task of fixing your English... I think I got them all! Something stupid is what keeps us apart But that doesn`t change the feelings in my heart I wish i could hold you now I wish that i could be with you some how Imagine if i would be ya man I would never leave ya side I would preach my love until the end Sometimes i think about how it could be But at the end it still is a fantasy Because it's a fantasy It won't come true So I'm gonna keep all these feelins inside Keep my dreams alive until the right time. Sometimes you feel so near We're having fun..Everything feels so real But in my heart is so much fear Cause i know I will wake up And realise that it was just a dream my fantasy made up. And then I`m sitting up for hours Thinking about you And i know I should be sleeping But my heart just won`t stop bleeding! Sometimes i think to my self "Man why am i doing this? It doesn`t matter how much I would preach our? love for here, Cause at the end I can`t reach here. Just forget about here, And i know there will be pain But it isn`t a shame to loose some tears It`s worth it cause at the end you will lose your fears! But then i think about you for a while And than i know all my pain is worth it, When I see your smile! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 (edited) Thanks man!I`m gonna change that! I`m happy there aren`t grammar-mistakes.. Edited August 14, 2005 by Turntable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WesSyde Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 Jonny, u missed one. It doesn`t matter how much I would preach my love for here, should be It doesn`t matter how much I would preach my love for her Turni, my boy, u have a wierd way of spelling her with an extra "e" on the end. i have a hard time reading your posts because her and here are 2 different words which mean different things and they're pronounce differently. good poem tho. is this ur first poem or have u written them b4? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 good poem tho. is this ur first poem or have u written them b4? ← No but the other where very small and kind of stupid..It was the first one i realy put my feelings in! Oh and sorry about the herE :lolsign: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bea321 Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 Good poem Turntable, I'll take the task of fixing your English... I think I got them all! Something stupid is what keeps us apart But that doesn`t change the feelings in my heart I wish i could hold you now I wish that i could be with you some how Imagine if i would be ya man I would never leave ya side I would preach my love until the end Sometimes i think about how it could be But at the end it still is a fantasy Because it's a fantasy It won't come true So I'm gonna keep all these feelins inside Keep my dreams alive until the right time. Sometimes you feel so near We're having fun..Everything feels so real But in my heart is so much fear Cause i know I will wake up And realise that it was just a dream my fantasy made up. And then I`m sitting up for hours Thinking about you And i know I should be sleeping But my heart just won`t stop bleeding! Sometimes i think to my self "Man why am i doing this? It doesn`t matter how much I would preach our? love for here, Cause at the end I can`t reach here. Just forget about here, And i know there will be pain But it isn`t a shame to loose some tears It`s worth it cause at the end you will lose your fears! But then i think about you for a while And than i know all my pain is worth it, When I see your smile! ← Hey, there are still a few faults (I think)!: be with you SOMEHOW FEELINGS inside think to MYSELF reach HER about HER THEN I know my pain worths it (not "is worth it") No?? Well, I can be wrong... lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbfprince Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 Very nice poem, Turntable. Def. see how u feel about her. Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 Very nice poem, Turntable. Def. see how u feel about her. Keep it up! ← Thanks! Yeah she`s realy important to me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny 5 Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 By the way, when I purposefully missed those mistakes, I was just trying to test if you guys were awake, good to see you are... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 By the way, when I purposefully missed those mistakes, I was just trying to test if you guys were awake, good to see you are... ← That`s what i allways tell my Teachers :lolsign: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh-Ta-Def Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 thats really good good job on that man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 thats really good good job on that man ← Thanks Man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceAngel Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Great job on that poem! :dope: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Great job on that poem! :dope: ← Thanks! :yeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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