rcpbball30 Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Okay, there is this girl that I work with. I have known her for about 4-5 months now and a little after I first met her, I was going to ask her out. The problem is, before I could do so, she started going out with someone else. Well, time has passed, and lately, I can not stop thinking about her. I just want to be with her, but I'm afraid if I say something, I am going to completely alienate myself from her and I'll never have a chance. I don't think I can go much longer without saying or doing something. I really don't know what to do, though. Should I confront the situation head on, or wait in the shadows to see if things start to go sour in her current relationship. From what I can tell now, her current relationship is not that great, not really very fun or enjoyable, but not at the point where they are going to break up. Whenever we are together, we are always having fun, no matter what we are doing. I just think it would be best to get some second opinions on the situation before deciding what to do. Any input would be a great help and I would really appreciate it. Thanks a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Ha!! I'm in a slightly similar situation. Let me sum up my story then i'll say what i think u should do. Back in 2001, i waz with the girl of my dreams. 4 years later, we broke up. A few months ago i got over the extreemly painful break up. However, shortly after i started seeing my girlfriend, i met this other girl. She had the looks that got my attention, she had the personality that made me wanna get 2 know her better. And she has all the flawless qualities that make me wanna be with her. We are good friends, but it's hard 4 us 2 stay in touch and make plans on a regular basis. So even tho' i've known her for 4 years, there's still that distance that makes things new whenever i see her. Anyways, she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years the same day me and my ex broke up. Since then, she's talked 2 a guy or 2 but nothing has really happened. Well, just last week i gave her a job where i work, which is funny cuz i used 2 visit her at her work all the time. Anyways, any time i'm around this girl or even think about her, i floating on cloud 9. My friends clown me all the time cuz it's crazy 4 a guy my age 2 get this way. Anyways, i'm stuck in this place where i don't know whether 2 say i'm interested or not becuz she did start talking 2 another guy not long ago. They aren't officially going out, but at the same time, i'm not the type of person 2 step on anyones toes. Anyways, here's the best advice that i have. If she is seeing someone, let them do their thing. If nothing is that impressive early on in the relationship, chances are this is the kinda guy that not only can't keep a relationship growing, but he can't even start it. Sooner or later, she is most likely gonna loose interest. In the meantime, i think u should just be yourself and try 2 make plans with her once and awhile. Just be a good friend who dose special things 4 her once in awhile. During that time that she spends with u, u just gotta hope she's smart enough 2 realize that she's having more fun with u than when she's with him. Just remember that it's cool 2 tell someone u were thinkin' about them, want 2 do something with them, and so on. If u think u really need 2 put it out there, then do it. Just remember that there is no turning back after that. If that's not something she wants, it may be hard 2 keep things cool, at least 4 a lil' while, between the 2 of u. Just know that things are in God's hands. U gotta stay positive, excpect the best, and be there 4 her even when she disappoints u cuz she's with another guy. U can't get mad cuz it doesn't look like things are going your way...cuz after all, she is with another guy at the moment. If things don't play out the way u wont'...just remember that if that door won't open, there's a bigger and better door that will. U just may not see it at the moment. In the meantime, i'm just gonna feel your pain...ha ha. There's 3 girls in my life that i look at in a special kinda way. And it looks like this one is barely outshining the other 2. So it's killin' me 2 figure out where things are gonna go. Hey, at least it gives me a reason 2 wake up in the morning...ha ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 :word: AJ man I be feelin that, But honestly dude if you really do like this girl then wait for a while, even if it does hurt you because if you don't wait and speed right in like a kangaroo or something, it could ruin your friendship, believe me, been there done that wrote the book ok, I liked this girl for like a year and i asked her out and she said no, asked her again and she said no about a year later. But keep your head up and the girl that you like will be yours, It's all about timing, don't try and ask her out as soon as they break up, wait a few months or so, as Frank Sinatra said. "Fools Rush In" :stickpoke: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxFly Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 I fullheartedly agee with everything AJ said. Great advice AJ. I couldn't have said it any better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Joe, i think it's funny that u referenced Frank Sinatra in your post...cuz the girl i like loves Frank Sinatra. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Nobody summed it up better than AJ. I think I'm heading in a similar situation myself, but I decided to stop and chill back on it because frankly, I'm not fit or ready for such a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy Julie Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 yeah from a womans point of view i agree with AJ too. Just wait in the sidelines and be a friend, then when she does break up with that guy (which sounds sooner rather than later if they dont get along) thats when u swoop in. If shes having as much fun as you are when you are together, she probably feels the same way about u. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Ah a women has finally come into this discussion haha, just waiting for a point of view from a women, But don't get too close to your friendship then she will think that ur not intrested and be shocked (Yes it has happened tome) to go out with you. It sucks that way aswell. A matter of fact I don't have a lot of luck with women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rcpbball30 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 Thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate all the input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Hero1 Posted October 24, 2005 Admin Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 dont want to lose your opportunity though... :hmm: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted October 24, 2005 Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 (edited) Basically like AJ said it'd be best for you to just be a friend to her and if she's really feelin' you she'll make the decision that she wants to be with you more often than her boyfriend but if not you could always hold your head high that you're there for her as a friend. I've been through a few situations similiar to those when I was in high school and I don't seem to be in contact with them anymore unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't work out but I gave it my all to try to get with them so it don't really bother me. It used to bother me more back then when things didn't work out but now I don't really worry about it anymore I just be myself knowing that I'll find someone that respects me for who I am when it's the right time that I meet someone that truely feels the same way that I do, you can't force love. I used to be more afraid to tell somebody how I feel because of rejection but now I'm more open to tell them so that way they know and if I get rejected at least I told them and didn't hold back my feelings so it don't hurt that much. Well actually that works with everything, sometimes it could hurt when you're patient, I could relate to that line in Will's "Could You Love Me", "You work like hell/still get hurt like hell". I believe that everything works out when the time's right, just approach it like you'd approach anything by keep trying to be there for her until she don't want you to. Edited October 24, 2005 by bigted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 Man, i worked with my friend 2nite and felt like adding something new 2 this post. Since she had some extra training time, i told her she could stay longer if she wanted to...and she did. We laughed all night long. I had lots 2 do b4 closing and she stayed afterwards. I'm on a high that i didn't think i'd ever feel again after my past break ups. I'm just taking it one day at a time and seeing if i can take this another step further. She's been saying some stuff that that i could take for face value...or could try 2 read in2 them more...and i like reading in2 them better...ha ha. Last night i watched the episode of The Jamie Foxx Show where Fancy (Jamie's long time love interest) finally admits she likes him...so i'm feeling unstoppable at the moment. I can't say that i can see things going my way, but i can say that there's no way she has more fun with anyone else. So stay strong, positive, and not doing or saying anything 2 bold until u know it's cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rcpbball30 Posted October 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 Thanks for the advice AJ, it has really helped me, and I hope your situation works out as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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