Julie needs help and advice

[Da Brakes]

Hey Julie! What you need to do is put it in writing to your boss formally. Note down all your points that your not happy with and make sure that they are coherent and to the point. Make sure you keep a copy of this letter as well. If the problem continues write another letter and again keep a copy. If your boss continues to ignore you then go to someone higher. He/she is acting extremely unprofessional and quite frankly shouldn't be a boss. You'll be able to show this person the copies of your letters you've sent and tell them that nothing has changed. Hopefully they should be able to help you.

Here's a website/organisation that helps with employment advice. Hope this helps!

ACAS

:thumbsup:

[WesSyde]

i would try to keep ignoring Jenny and go talk to your boss about it... going with Rachel might be a good idea. writing a letter could be good too... but i think doing it in person is better, thats just me tho. i'm not sure if confronting Jenny is good or not, because if u really want this job u don't want enemies against you... or in your case you dont want to fuel your enemies more.

[JumpinJack AJ]

Wow, I can't totally wrap my brain about that whole situation...or even imagin how many details u left out. When u don't know the whole story, it's hard 2 give advice. But this is probably what i would do.

THE HARD WAY: Talk 2 your boss. Ask them if there's any reason they seem to be acting differently towards you. Of one step higher, ask them if "Jenny" has been talking about her. If the answer is yes, then say that u don't even want 2 know what was said, but say that she's been been a backstabber and a liar 2 u and some of your other co-workers. Let your boss know that it's important 2 u that the performance where u work isn't being tainted by a backstabber.

THE EASY WAY: The easier way would be 2 just suck it up. U know who is in the right, and that will pay off. Stay strong, control yourself, and don't let the petty stuff get 2 u. U have you eyes set on your goal...so accomplish it, even if u are have 2 dodge the things getting in the way. A few unpaid hours and drama like this is just the kinda crap u might have 2 go thru' 2 get what u really want.

What dosen't kill u makes u strong. So keep ya head up, and follow your heart on how 2 handle the situation.

[Cozmo D]

Hey Julie, lots of good advice in here, let me add my 2 cents.

First of all, what you are describing is immature he said/she said stuff. It's extremely important that you learn to remove it from your life, it has no positive value whatsoever. Whenever someone attempts to drag you into that you should put an end to it immediately. I don't mean by violence, but by going to the source and calmly clearing the air, and involving any 3rd party that they have been including as well. Let them know that you are above it, that crap is for kids. If Jenny is an evil bitch, that's her business, if your brother is an idiot that's his business, what the 2 of them do in their relationship, that's their business, just keep them both out of your business.

As for the situation at your job, I'm assuming that your boss is older than you are but she is behaving like a child. However, she is still your boss and therefore has authority and perhaps a bit of power over you. Because of this, any kind of confrontation is NOT a wise idea.

What you need to do though is pretty simple. First, let Rachel know that you plan to talk to her. Don't go into specifics on what you plan to say or anything, just that you want to be sure of the situation. Believe me, I know that Rachel is your good friend but the way that he said/she said works, somebody has to be the middle and most likely it is her. She probably doesn't even realize it. The fact that she was the one who overheard Jenny saying something to your boss makes it even more likely. Regardless, it's a bad idea for you and Rachel to talk to your boss together because it will just seem to her like the 2 of you are ganging up on her friend Jenny. Just tell Rachel that you are going to talk to her and IF she feels as badly as you do about the whole thing she probably should think about talking to her as well. 5 will get you 10 that she doesn't.

Then, ask your boss for a private sitdown. Let her know that you have a "concern". When you speak, do not be over emotional. No anger or hurt or frustration. Be calm and professional. Let her know that you had caught wind of a "rumor" that you had been badmouthed by "some person or persons" to her, and you wished to know whether she found your work satisfactory. Do NOT get into or even allow yourself to be dragged into who the "person or persons" may be, they are totally irrelevant. Tell her you have no idea if she insists, it's just that you hate rumors and like to put them to rest whenever you can. Instead, be specific about your work. Let her know that wherever it is unsatisfactory, you will do your best to improve it, and thank her for any complements. Where she is mistaken about your work due to lies told her, correct the mistaken impression but do not worry about where that impression came from. That game is for children and lesser adults than you. Finally, upon finishing, thank her for the talk and ask her to please let you know immediately if there are any concerns about your work or anything else.

Here's what your result will be. More than likely, she will realize that she has been sucked into foolishness that she has no business being a part of, and she will correct it. She will be on-guard against it happening again as well, so busybody Jenny will lose an outlet. Even if she was willingly involving herself in the nonsense, she will now realize that not only do you realize it, but are also above it, and will probably strive to be above it as well, at least as far as you are concerned.

Now, there IS the small chance that she's extremely immature, and a bitch to boot. If that is the case then she will most likely continue with the childish crap. I doubt this will happen, but if it does you will notice it right away when you are having your talk, because she will behave like a schoolgirl instead of your boss, and tell you things about what she heard and what somebody told her and bla bla bla. If that is the case DO NOT STOOP TO HER LEVEL! Follow YOUR game plan and leave the kidstuff to her! And from that point on make sure to document your every move in the job that you can, and everything that she says to you. When the time is right and you just can't stand any more, you are all prepared to speak to HER boss.

He said/she said is childish, immature bullsh!t. It destroys friendships, it breaks up families, and sometimes it even KILLS! Do NOT allow yourself to take part in that crap! Your tactic of not speaking is not much better. All that does is give people reason and opportunity to misinterpret your actions and intentions. If you want people to know what's on your mind, TELL THEM! Nice and calm. Answer their scowls with smiles, their lies with truth, and their innuendoes and intrigues with indifference!

Hope all of that helps, thanx for the votes of confidence Tim and Sweet! :wiggle:

[3cookies]

u got it Coz ! :2thumbs:

thats what i was GONNA say,...but yea. jk

You gave the best analagy.

peace,

cookie

Edited January 24, 2006 by 3cookies

[Jazzy Julie]

wow thanx every1 for all your advice and time taken to help me, i knew i could depend on my family so thats why i turned to you.

Its true what AJ said about missing out details bcoz i could go on forever what these people have done to me. Firstly i cant really do the letter thing bcoz its a small practise with only a few employees so i work closely with my boss. Ive decided to go and speak to her and explain how i feel and explain how im not happy in my job anymore bcoz of this when i used to enjoy it.

I have tried to ignore this whole thing bcoz i didnt want to get invloved in the he said she said. Only ive been ignoring it for months maybe even years, ive been the adult about it for so long. Ive grown as a person when i used to be bothered about what people think of me, but now i know it doesnt matter. But when you ignore it for so long and nothing ever gets better, in fact it gets worse and people start treating you differently bcoz of it, its too hard to live with.

The reason why me and Rachel do talk about it, is bcoz its are way of coping with it. Jenny is so malicious, we need to keep an eye on whats shes doing.

I'll hopefully get to speak with my boss fairly soon and get it sorted. Thank you again every1 for all your help!

[Jazzy Julie]

Incase any1 is interested here is the outcome of my trouble. Well today was exam results day, it was also the day when my boss was in. I wasnt sure whether to talk to her today as i had enough stuff on my mind. I was as nervous as hell bcoz i was certain id failed the whole exam. I rang up my college to find id passed both written papers, passed 3 practical exams but failed just the 1 practical on xrays (but who can actually x ray a stuffed dog properly anyway haha). Anyway even tho this isnt a full pass i was made up bcoz i thought it was so much worse, it turns out i only need to do a couple of hours work for this exam instead of hundreds that are needed for the others.

So im on cloud 9, not the best way to confront your boss when your opening line has to do with not being happy in the workplace lol. Then they annoyed me having a go about something the locum vet did. So i rounded up Rachel and we were ready for battle.

We were very polite about the whole thing explaing how we felt things were being said about us behind our back as we were getting negative energy and being told off for things we didnt do which i gave an example of. I also said i would prefer to be told one to one if i was doing anything wrong. We all agreed that its difficult with 4 women in the workplace lol. i said i thought its better getting things out in the open and its better for me to come to her before getting completely miserable, and she agreed.

I also expalined about my holidays and how i thought we werent being treated equally with how they worked. The boss said she thought it would be a problem, i explained everything to her and accidently stumbled across a lie Jenny had told. (you lie that often and some will be uncovered).

Anyway, she listened to everything said, the vet, who is also her husband and partner in the practise also listened (hes the more resonable one). They began plans are more equal ways to work shifts and holidays, and the boss said she didnt realise she was ignoring me and Rachel, it was just jenny is more chatty. She said she would make better note of it in the future and make things equal.

So in conclusion i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders today in 2 ways. So again thanx for all the advice and support on this. For now its all good, its never going to be perfect when working with a person you dont like, but now its much better than what it was.

[3cookies]

"Good going miss JULIE!!!! :2thumbs:

peace,

cookie

[MaxFly]

Lol, well I'm certainly late for the advice portion of the thread, but I'm glad everything worked out well Julie. It can be difficult working with people you don't like, but as long as you handle things professionally as you did, things will usually turn out well in the end. Glad you're done with that burden.

[FreshPrincess]

Bless. I, like Max, came into this late. I can't really give any advice but i will say that i hope it all works out for you. I was in a similar situation in my short time at uni, one girl i really didn't get on with who didn't even know me started being really spiteful for no reason. What I will say is whatever you do don't give up, i did and i've been regretting it ever since. Hope it all works out for ya Ju x

[Cozmo D]

Glad it worked out for you Julie! :2thumbs:

[Jonny 5]

Great news Julie :hail:

[Da Brakes]

Thats great Julie! Let's hope it works out better now!

[fan 4ever]

That's great to hear...I'm happy for you!