MissAshley Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 i've been digging thru my old stuff trying to get inspired, and i came across this two part poem of mine that I really loved, seems strange cuz it's hard for me to pick a fave of something i wrote, but this is "the truth" for me lol anyway here goes: ENTRAPMENT (Part I, Free Me) Free me...from my current state of mind because it's making me crazy Free me...from female intuition because my soul feels hazy Free me...from past oppressions and temptations that say,"come hither" Free me...from the stress of life, for my heart has began to wither Free me...from the secrets that hold me forever captive in their grasp Free me...from the pains of my future and the joys of my past Free me...from things i don't know, for I hear ignorance is bliss Free me...as if i were of value, something you would surely miss Free me...from your judgement, your criticisms, and critiques Free me...from my hidden talents for my mind is too unique Free me...from jealousy and hatred, for there's nothing in me you should fear Free me...from what you think you know, for there's more to what you hear Free me...from the cold stares I receive when I come to a crossroads Free me...from remembering every great lesson i've ever been told Free me...from the storm within, that even the wildest flames couldn't smolder Free me...from imprisonment of this body when my mind is so much older Free me...from first impressions, and what you look at when you see me Free me...from what it is you see when you look at me Free me...from stereotypes and assumptions that hold back people of my kind FREEDOM hold me tighter in my current state of mind...... ENTRAPMENT (Part II, I'm Free Now) I'm free now...from that state of mind that had me second-guessing I'm free now...from intuition of a gender that had me digressing I'm free now...from old opressions and temptations that kept on calling I'm free now...from life's stresses, and my heart rate is no longer falling I'm free now...from secrets that vowed to grip me for as long as i live I'm free now...from joys and pains in my past and future like nectar in my sieve I'm free now...from ignorant bliss-I hold knowledge of great weight I'm free now...because you let go, then reached again when it was too late I'm free now...from critiques,criticisms, and judgements of any kind I'm free now...from my hidden talents, that are too unique and far gone to find I'm free now...from your hatred, jealousy, and everything else you were intimidated by I'm free now...from what you think you heard, when you thought the truth was a lie I'm free now...from entwined crossroads and the cold stares of strangers I'm free now...from remembering great lessons and being wary of safe dangers I'm free now...from the wild climate of an erratic storm within I'm free now...from the immaturity of my age as the expansion of my mind begins I'm free now...from first impressions and what you thought of when you first saw me I'm free now...from the dirty looks and opinions that block what you can truly see I'm free now...from stereotypes, assumptions, and petty little mind games EMANCIPATED...through my heart and soul, and i guarantee I'll never be the same -ash i apologize for the repetition, even my teacher at the time said it was killing the imagery, but it just doesn't flow the same to me when i change it, i'd be glad to know what you think though, maybe i'll post more of my old stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rawad_m Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 wow that's a really powerful poem :thumbsup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Hero1 Posted March 8, 2006 Admin Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 wow that was damn impressive I loved it.. ya teacher must be smoking crack because the repition gave weight to each line.. Awesome :wickedwisdom: :wickedwisdom: :wickedwisdom: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 I really like it too! I definately think you should keep the repitition! :thumbsup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bigmac Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 I really like it too! I definately think you should keep the repitition! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 HOLY COW...that kicked absolute ass.....and you have to know this...Hiero can vouch for me...i rarely will comment on these things.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andreik Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 :2thumbs: :2thumbs: really cool! i like it a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trey Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 That was awsome, Ashley! Keep up the great work! :2thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigie Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 iono why dat "free me" n "im free now" reminds me Martin Luther King Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Amor Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Wow. Thats a really great poem Ashley. Its just awsome :switch: :2thumbs: :respect: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 That was great MissAshley. Keep it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Unbelieveable. May I copy this as a poem to read every time I look in my 'binder of poems'? I loved the deep thought each line puts the reader in. This would be a nice rap or even spoken word audio form even. You seriously should get your poems published in a book or in poetry contests or soemthing. How old were you and how long ago did you write that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissAshley Posted March 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 (edited) Umm, wow thnx for all the great feedback guys I really appreciate it I didn't expect to get too much of a response b/c these pieces are about two years old. I wrote them during my senior year in HS, and I think they were actually a couple mths. apart, originally it was just the first poem that took about 15-20 mins, to write....they were compiled with some others i wrote for a project, I may post one or two others FuQ, trust me I'm working on it lol copyrights,publishing and all. I actually have performed these pieces and gotten great response, so that def. inspired me to write more.That's my dream to be a writer(more than I feel I am, you know?) so hopefully things will work out for me sooner or later..I'd be honored to be in your "binder of poems" you know I love ya lol Edited March 9, 2006 by MissAshley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Ok, thanks. I read it a good 3 times. It has everything I've ever thought or said sometime in my life. I was feelin lousy creatively too. This poem got me back in the mood, and I now I feel like I can say whatever no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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