MissAshley Posted March 17, 2006 Report Share Posted March 17, 2006 since you guys gave me such great feedback on my last piece, I decided to share another from the same project, this piece I love b/c of my rhyme scheme, and the fact that I wrote it on auto-pilot, while actually trying to do a free write (just writing non-stop for a certain amount of time)...anyway more feedback would be much appreciated guys, as i'm trying to write something new lol Wise Idea While I was minding my own business the other day, an idea ran by and shot me in the brain And it shook me to the depths of my soul because I had no idea from which way it came On the inside my fear left me vulnerable like an open target in direct range And though my heart stood in the middle of a deadly storm, I did not wish the climate to change For I believe a life without fear is total chaos and depravity And a selfish human kind, is no kind of true humanity There is no great talent without dilapidated honesty And when people don't lie, it really truly doesn't bother me I'd much rather you hurt my feelings, than keep your truths to yourself.... Because being a writer with no outlet is not good for my mental health So I took that idea in the form of a bullet and prepared myself for round two.... Then loaded it into the barrel of the gun and smiled in satisfaction as it went through But then I was conflicted on where to aim it And temptation became impatient, and there was no way for me to tame it So I pointed it towards the sky to let that oppressed bullet escape But instead it boomeranged and came back to me in the form of something great A whisper in the wind that lead me to use my talents to the fullest And I can't tell you how greatful I am, for my encounter with that wise little bullet ash *if you're confused by the imagery in this piece,as I just realized some people may be, just know that i'm not a violent person lol. The "bullet" and the "gun" are just metaphors for "idea" and "creativity"..this piece is about being inspired and using the product of that, to inspire something creative in someone else :1-smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Amor Posted March 17, 2006 Report Share Posted March 17, 2006 Yeah great rhyming scheme there Miss Ashley I can see y u love this piece. Its just great Miss Ashley :2thumbs: :yeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted March 19, 2006 Report Share Posted March 19, 2006 "For I believe a life without fear is total chaos and depravity" - That is true and a line like this stands in the annuals of time. Seems like a common comparison, but I don't think people understand why it is. A negative for positive. "dilapidated" - One word I have to look up. "Because being a writer with no outlet is not good for my mental health" - Extremely true for me. I have had crazy urges to write lately and can't do it, cuz it's so much pressure on what to say 1st. Wise Idea? Rightfully so, it is. Very cool poem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissAshley Posted March 19, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2006 thnx guys, I def. know how you feel, I have lots of stuff I wanna get down on paper and for some reason it's just not happening, so i've been going thru old stuff looking for an outlet...i'm gonna keep trying though, until I get a good result Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigie Posted March 19, 2006 Report Share Posted March 19, 2006 I liked it! good job! :2thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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