Turntable Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) Hey guys. I wrote this a few weeks back. I allready showed some of you. I`d appreciate feedback. It`s slightly machurer than my regular stuff. Thanks. Slowly my eyes follows you, as you walk down the hall What you show of, damn its a pleasure unknown The way you flip your hair, back to forth The way your shaped, from down there till up north Damn baby, you are a new defintion of beauty A special kind of candy, not just the regular cutie You move your bootie, up and down Playing with our minds Its hard to avoid, you just to damn fine But damn baby, thats how its supposed to be `Hot as hell, a pleasure to see You move your hips and lick your lips you do it all with style, nice and smooth Keep going like that & you`ll blow the roof Your spreading your energy, making my mind steem Feeling your touch, yeah thats a big dream When I see your hair, I wanna go through it Wanna feel it on my face, while we use our lips Dancing slowly, my hands on your hips You bring up thoughts in a boys mind, fo sho And let me tell you this, they aint holly yo Yo everytime I see you, I tend to get crazy I dont just wanna watch, damn I wanna taste it Yeah Girl, I admit, my instict`s basic. Cause I love the way you walk In them high heel shoes And I love the way you talk Girl I`m feeling you Ain`t no more I can take It's how you move And baby I cant wait till I`m feeling you. Every night, your walking through my mind Between all your homergils, your shyne like a dime All I can think if is what I`d do, if you where mine Threat you like a lady, loving you right Polish you, just to keep up your shyne Satisfy your needs, do everything I can Baby I wanna be the one, that cals himself your man Whatever you wish, I`ll be happy to serve Just take this as a promise, for whats its worth We`ll do whatever you wish, kiss and hug Or I`ll take you dancing, up in the club Put my hands on your body, lead you around Listen to the slow jams, just vibe with the sounds Girl Im`feeling you, I`m shure you noticed it Caus you seem to react, you stardet to tease You slow down, everytime you cross my path And when I`m sitting near you, you allways stardt to dance Slowly and nice, your moving your hips You control every part, from your lips till your fingertips Everytime you move, you send chils up and down my body I dont wanna fight it, I wanna get touchy And you sem to agree with what I have on my mind Caus you lick your lips, everytime I walk by I know we never realy talked, and I barely know your name Still I have things on my mind, there is stuff I wanna do And I`m quit shure, that you feel it too Cause I love the way you walk In them high heel shoes And I love the way you talk Girl I`m feeling you Ain`t no more I can take It's how you move And baby I cant wait till I`m feeling you. Girl when I look at you, with your chocolate skin and your shiny hair I`m getting daydreams, like I`m about to tell you here I wish I could take you right back home Standing in my room, till you say lets go Yeah I wanna be that one, lucky as hell `having the chance of taking you there So I can feel your love and lay you on your bed Soft loving, yeah I`m down with that Nothing you dont feel, take that as a promise For real, "loving", thats how I like to call it So just lean back & control my moves And, uh, I`ll make you love the things I do Make you sweat and shiver Till you dont know the level of pleasure nomore From your shoulders till your feet, I wanna feel your body Wanna feel your lips while I`m kissing you softly Let me be your man, I`ll furfill you`r dreams Pleasing you right, satisfy your needs Kissing you nicely, massage your feet Takin care of you, like no one else did I wanna hold you all night, watching your back I dont care about them jalous guys`s chronological attacks Caus me and you know that its the right thing to do You calling me baby & me calling you bo.. Cause I love the way you walk In them high heel shoes And I love the way you talk Girl I`m feeling you Ain`t no more I can take It's how you move And baby I cant wait till I`m feeling you. Edited August 11, 2006 by Turntable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) "So I can lay you on your stomach and caress your back" - How very LL like of you. :lolsign: "From your shoulders till your feet, I wanna feel your body Wanna feel your lips while I`m kissing you softly" - I really like the flow of these lines. It's slightly maturer aka machurer, but try to get a bit more diverser, even tho it's based around simple, yet deep topic. If this was realistically inspired, which I imagine it was, I bet cha could go more in thought about this girl than you already did. At least when it comes to writing a song. How many "love" songs have you wrote prior to this one? It's not half bad. Edited August 10, 2006 by mfuqua23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) One love song I think. But that was about love, and nothing like this. Yeah, I thought about it too. Yet, I dont really know the girl that well, caus we just had a few talks (or flirts,lol) so its a lil hard to go deeper on her. I wanna try and writea third verse tho. Thanks for your feedback. And yeah..lol 2 LL lines. Edited August 10, 2006 by Turntable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 I updated it. The second verse is new. And I changed the LL line into something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Amor Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) Good job man. this song is really different from your other songs :thumbsup: Edited August 11, 2006 by Angel Amor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Good Job Man!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turntable Posted August 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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