J-o-e Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 hip hop is dying, pioneers are crying radio stations are lying, im just trying to bring a point of view which everyone agrees on i spit truth im not a con, they call me the rap don im running out of time, let me spit this rhyme god give me one good line, show me a significant sign thunder lightning anything that tells me your still there my homies losing thier hair, seems we dont care here we go, im broke and i say so i wana be rollin in a benz but im rollin in a volvo and i wonder why my pride i want to hide its like i have a good part and the bad side which i dont want to express i cant explain wanna maintain all the haters in the hip hop game the scene where i came from is just freestyle and see what you got i try and stay focused but everywhere i go its hot, homies smoking pot went through a slump where i did it cause i was depressed but then went to church and confessed, i want my life to be put to rest dont wana die yet but its seems its comin closer pretty mc's in the game as the poser, im behind the scene, the composer so if you see me walking down the street lookin at a cutie just like a peice of meet, i aint havin it as a treat props to 2pac biggie and easy e the beat creaters even to the player haters this is just a freestyle to tell you what im like its all eyes on me just like syke, you cant catch me, im like a pike just from the top of my heads, give me ya opinons please, :switch: J-o-e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 It's dope! :rock: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 :sonny: cheers bigted, 11 views n just 1 response, please more views, J-o-e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 I'm liking it!!! You are getting SO much better!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Prince Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 [quote=J-o-e,Aug 10 2004, 11:08 PM]cheers bigted, 11 views n just 1 response, please more views[/quote] Again, as I've said in other posts... How can thread-starters expect people to reply when they don't reply to other peoples threads? I notice also it tends to be a small body of people comprising of about 4 or 5 people that seems to be doing the reviewing... I'll name names if I have to. A few points, you contradict yourself when you say you want to be put to rest, but in the next line say you don't want to die yet. Explain, because I sure can't see where you are coming from by saying that? Also, early on you continue on to the next line to finish your sentence... I'm aware a lot of people do that, but in my mind it just doesn't flow correctly and when rapping you have to interrupt your own flow to fit it in. It's your choice though whether you do that or not, but as a personal preference I wouldn't (hence I don't). I'm also interested as to why you compare a girl to a piece of meat? This could either mean you imagine them skinless, or you compare girls to the meat you eat. Both create equally disturbing images in my head. Oh, and remember... Although quite a nice end to it, pikes can be caught. Althought arguably it would take a skilled fisherman to do so, it is possible. You're better from what you were this time last year, because let's be real here... Those were some dark days. But I admire you for keeping writing and posting places like here to learn how you can improve, by posting among other people with similar interests to you. Anyway, I'm impressed - no, scratch that... I'm more than impressed with how this is compared to other pieces I've seen you write even with the things I pointed out. This could be in contention for one of the best things you've ever written. Well done and keep it up man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted August 12, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Thanks 4 ur views J-o-e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Daedalus Mortality Posted August 13, 2004 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 I don't reallylike this Keystyling in general. Its not freestyling its just writing raps whitout putting effort into them. So Ill give my responce when you drop something you wrote oki? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy Julie Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 yeah it sounds great . i like the way u always out your heart into your rhymes. and i agree your definalty gettin better, keep at it and next year u will be twice as good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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